If Scientology did it, I can do it too.....

Private Message Exchange.....

Father Lester: Dood. I'm not a real priest. I have one of those Internet minister's certificate, but I'm not sure if it's legal for marriage. It's got the RamCo seal of approval, and an official signature, so it's good.

Camisa Roja: It's perfect. I don't want legal marriage, just a spiritual bond type marriage. I'm going to file documents to be a Church, and the Trorg are out gathering enough slaves, I mean followers that we can qualify. 

Father Lester: You're wasting your time trolling IoMP for followers, they're pretty resilient to standard tactics.

Camisa Roja: Standard tactics aren't up for discussion, my fat little hacker friend. The Trorgs have been cooking up some fresh new tactics to squash those free-thinking IoMP types. 

Say how'd you wrangle out of that dragnet? You post regularly on that one community that was pulled down. 

Father Lester: My lawyer's said not to talk about it. Like Fight Club.

Camisa Roja:  O.o

Hello..... is this thing on?

Posted on Phuzzy Pheelings.....

LilyAnne: I don't see anything in the new SafeZone area. If something wrong with me stuff, or is it broken.

Frodo: It's working, it's just empty. 

LilyAnne: Sigh. So I have to troll through the porn and filth to read the goings on. No one could choke back the porn long enough to post in here where I can view at work?

Kinetik: That should tell you something. 

LilyAnne: Stick a sock in it. Shouldn't you be in the Matrix wearing your sunglasses at night?

Kinetik: Says the lady in the hamster robe. 

LilyAnne: It's puppies ass! Well, fake puppies, it's a costume you moron. OH fuck off. 

Kinetik: kinetik++;

Everything here is safe for work.....

Posted on Phuzzy Pheelings.....

DeBon: Ok. So in an effort to squelch the noise, I have created the SafeZone sub-forum where all stuff posted must be safe for general audiences. So keep it G/PG.

Kinetik: Are you sure? Have you Googled with the 'moderate' filter on, it's not so moderate. 

DeBon: Well maybe G? It's rough because everyone has different levels of taste.

Kinetik: And LilyAnne has none. AHAHAHA. 

Frodo: You're awesome DeBon. Someone still needs to give Kenetik a solid ramming though.

LilyAnne: AGREED! AGREED! AGREED!

True Blood yummysausages!

Posted on Curb Feelers.....

LilyAnne: Gawd I love that Eric, he's so hot. Did you see the shirtless promo on the website? Total man-candy.

Kinetik: So, half a sideboob is off-limits at work but you can post pictures of half-naked, drenched, aneorexic underwear models/actors and that's all ok?

LilyAnne: Stop trolling me it's not the same. Shouldn't you be getting rammed yet?

Kinetik: It would seem you're the only one who thinks so.

Frodo: If people want to surf at work instead of working, that's their business. The whole world isn't about boobs ya know.

LilyAnne: AGREED! AGREED! AGREED! AGREED!

How can I surf at work if there's porn?

Posted on Phuzzy Pheelings....

LilyAnne: This is bullshit. How in the hell am I supposed to check in here at work if you're not going to put that pornography underneath tags? Jesus this is supposed to be a place for adults and you stupid bastards can't even conduct yourself in polite company. Lame ass fuckers. I hate you all.

Kenetik: Porn? At most there was half a side boob in that picture. What the hell are you surfing at work for anyway? Didn't you just get that job. After weeks of pissing and moaning, I would think you have more to worry about at work than peeping a sideboob.

LilyAnne: Fuck off. I'll just report it to DeBon. We'll see how you like getting rammed!

The Wrath of Roja.....

Overheard on vent.....

Camisa Roja: How dare you defy me? I am your master and you will do as I command or I will feed you to the chickens.

MissX: Chickens? That doesn't sound so scary. 

Peace: I had a cousin that was killed by chickens once. Well it wasn't actually the chickens she tripped over the chicken and then...

Yoshima : Will you shut the hell up please? We're regrouping. I didn't see the need to follow LaTigra around and engage her at every turn. IT's looking a bit desperate don't you think.

 Camisa Roja: I told you, stop trying to think. I do the thinking, you do the swallowing, I mean following.

Who rooted the MAC?

Overhead on Vent.....

MAC: What the fuck are you babbling about? That program was full proof. All you and the other jackass had to do was operate it.

Dr. Scott: Ah didne dae anythin' ye didne teel me was awe rite. She jist stopped respondin'. it happened puckle days ago, reit efter 'at barnie whaur rob freaked it.

| # YOSHIMA report status
| - unable to connect -
| # YOSHIMA initiate restart
| - this function has been disabled -

MAC: Jesus jiffy-popping fuck man! What did you do to my program? You're as dumb as the programs. I never should have involved you.

| # YOSHIMA initiate self-destruct
| - this function has been disabled -

Dr. Scott: Awe rite. mebbe Ah got th' keyboard a bit gooey th' other nicht, but Ah dornt see whit 'at has tae dae wi' anythin'.

MAC: You realize you're trying my patience, yes?

You want me to wear this on my head?

Somewhere in a private chatroom.....

Peace: Lemme get this straight. I'm supposed to keep this thing on, and read this script so I can say it all the time?

Yoshima: Memorize it, it'll make it easier. Better yet just use C&P to avoid problems. Wouldn't want them to be different, that's the point.

MissX: Will we have to pull out our tits?

Camisa Roja: Soy un magnífico ejemplar de un hombre! I love this costume it makes me feel smart. Now that we've left the Curb Feelers compound for oppressing our religious ideals, we can migrate to IoMP where we can roam freely as the troll overlords we were chosen to be.

Yoshima: This is cooler than my crayon helmet.

MissX: I'm not touching anyone's penis, under any circumstances.

Peace: ?

ROB is unable to connect.....

Deep Underground in MACs bordello of debauchery.....

| # ROB report status
| - unable to connect -

MAC: DAMNIT! What the hell is going on. He's been offline all day.

| #ROB get systems-log
| - systems log empty-

MAC: Empty. That's not possible! Now I'm going to have to read that stupid board to find out what the hell went wrong. I knew this was a stupid idea. He wasn't ready to deal with Buffy AND the trolls also.

DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMINT!

Where's the props for FORTRAN?

Posted on the Isle of Misfit Posters.....

| # ROB activate script - shitheel

 ROB: This place sucks. It's not even written in FORTRAN. What the hell is wrong with the admins here? No one worth a shit uses anything but FORTRAN. I'm not even sure I'm going to be able to hang out here with you losers.

Forken: No one uses FORTRAN any longer. It really has no purpose in an application like this.

 ROB: WHAT? You're so wrong! I've been around since before computers were born. FORTRAN is the M-diggity BOMB slutface. You're probably just a transvestite who made yourself up to look cool on the Internet.

Forken: Made myself up?

ROB: Suck it liar pants. YOU LIE FORTRAN RULES. NANNER NANNER NANNER!

ROB systems check....

Deep underground in MACs den of iniquity.....

MAC: Alright let's kick start this dramaz festival.

| # ROB activate systems check

ROB: Greetings. I am ROB. This looks like a nice place.

| # ROB attitude adjust - troll

ROB: What's up creeps? This place looks like it's full of lame. Guess I'll hang out anyway.

| # ROB attitude adjust - mean-spirited troll

ROB: Just flying through here to see all the faggotry. This place sucks it, especially that bulldyke bitch!

| # ROB attitude adjust - bus driver in training

ROB: You will like me or I will make you like me. Alt after miserable alt until you die of boredom or ban me again!

| # ROB vulgarity +75

ROB: HACK THE FUCKING PLANET! I'll hack this place till it disappears assholes! Capitalist douchebag swines!

MAC: Perfect. Off you go, to wreak havoc on the Isle of Misfit Peckers! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Return of the MAC.....

Private Message Exchange.....

MAC: This is going better than I expected. With Larry gone and the rest of the Feelers fighting over who's going to be the biggest jackass, my fresh batch of alts can swoop down and integrate themselves unnoticed.

Dirty Sanchez: I think you've lost control of Yoshima, buttermuffins. She crashed miserably last night.

MAC: She's not one of mine. I'll see if I can't hack into Yo-Yo's email and get the password.

Dirty Sanchez: Maybe it's time to really tweak their nipples. Activate ROB. 

MAC: I think it's a bit soon.

Dirty Sanchez: I don't keep you around to think, sausagecakes.