Celebrate gotVirtual's First Anniversary with a sweet partay!

gotVirtual is turning one this November, and they're holding a huge weekend long bash to celebrate the birthing of the most diverse, unique, and completely refreshing place to socialize on the Internet.

Drop by and check it out for more information. If you're not in Second Life, then what are you waiting for? Make an account, grab some gear, and get your party on!

Introducing HaeTo Codger: Get off the lawn!!!!

HaeTo is about as average as it gets. If you've ever stared at a plain sheet of white paper, you've experienced HaeTo in all their glory. HaeTo could talk a methhead into a deep sleep.

In an effort to combat HaeTo's average, boring, unimaginative self..... HaeTo borrowed a play from Mr. Whozits, and started hammering out alt after alt.

Problem is, HaeTo can't remember which meds HaeTo took last. Sometimes facts go missing in HaeTo's reality juggling (HaeTo's reality, your reality, our reality, whatever right?).

Most of what HaeTo says breaks down to 'you youngins get off mah lawn!'. The problem is, HaeTo is rarely standing on HaeTo's own lawn.

And get a costume.....

Antman: This is a private channel miss, if you're not middle class and white we're going to have you arrested.

Demented Distortia: I want to join your group, so I can seek revenge on those who've harmed me. 

Antman: We don't seek revenge miss, we bring justice to the Interwebz.

DD: Whatever we're calling it I want to play too. 

Antman: You'll need to get a costume to better shield your identity.

DD: What do you mean? 

Someone back-doored Antman, and the LUJ is exposed!

Antman: All you've done is forward injustice today, son.

WMW: Whatever, and Lester's really a stalker too, right?

Antman: Unauthorized access to the League of Uniformed Jagwackers supercomputer database, CARDIAC, is grounds for arrest, son. You outsiders have got to learn!

WMW: But, you gave Lester the passwords and an account? I didn't hack it. 

Antman: You used your next generation hacker software to violate the security of the Jagwackers fortress!

 WMW: Next generation software? Well that wasn't me I use BS Flinger 3 OS, it's not compatible with anything. 

Lester allies with the Wretched Mister Whozits

WMW: Listen, I can probably get down there in a few days. I'll use my super mad BSD connections to couch hop to your place. My tent has a hole in it though.

Lester: It's cool you can crash on the couch. Till the guys come to take it on Friday. Rent-a-Debit is pissed I'm six weeks behind, and they're taking all my shit. 

WMW: Just don't open the door. They can't break it down.

Lester: My Mom will just let them in when I'm gone. 

WMW: I'll bring a sleeping bag. 

(Un-) Welcome to BootyBurger

Spitz: Welcome to BootyBurger, can I take your order?

Lester: (BUMP).......(BOOOOOM)......(BUMP)......(BA-BOOOOOOOOM)......

Spitz: Hello?

Lester: Give me a BootyBuster special (BA-BOOOOOOM), and a (BUMP) large (BA-BOOOOOOOOM)

Spitz: Lester, you can't be here man, they'll call the cops.

Lester: No way man, I'm not (BA-BOOOOOOOM), (TICK-TICK) just fired. (BUMP - BOOOOOOOOM) 

Police Officer: Excuse me sir could you pull over and step out of the vehicle.

Introducing Oblivia, wannabe Scene Queen

You'd think a middle aged housewife would have something to do with her time besides aspire to be one of the biggest gossip whores on the planet, but you'd be applying common sense and the Interwebz cannot sustain much of that.

On the outset, you might wonder why Oblivia hits the bowtox a bit hard, but in reality, she suffers from a rare disorder in which the bubble of air in side her skull is slowly expanding as she ages, poking out little blurbs and bubbles which deform her forehead and facial features.

Sadly, someday she will pop and those around her will be horribly traumatized. Until then, her bimbastic way of missing the point and cleverly burning you with insults that have no relevance to the subject at hand will be with us, as she aspires to take the Scene Queen of the Interwebz crown.

Introducing Otiose Organizer

Ousted from his former position as Casino director, Otiose was fired from his virtual playground when it was discovered that his intentions were to enslave children into a life of servitude through the perils of gambling.

Hellbent on seeking revenge, he kidnaps members of his former virtual society and forces them to put their mouths on the nether regions of his newly created mob of Thug Zombies*. Forcing them to join his cause or be cast into the dungeon, forced to endure reading countless thousands of his 'informational' Interwebz posts.

The best course of action when you see Otiose coming, is to trip him as you push him out the exit.



* Bio on Thug Zombies forthcoming - ed

Introducing Jyp from Sckanchoes

When taken in small doses, Jyp's witty repertoire seems refreshing and new. After extended bouts of nauseating walls of self-serving diatribe, however, it becomes clear that Jyp's ideas are rarely his own, and piecing together segments from the intellect of others bolsters his self-confidence. 

Working from inside the local Sckanchoes (skank-ohs) copyshop, Jyp spends his time pouring over the work of others and cross-posting their ideas to the Interwebz to garner popularity and 'cool-kid' points with the other whack-a-loons.  

After exhausting his usual battery of bullshit, he can be found wandering the wasteland of the Interwebz (usually barred from whatever community was unfortunate enough to be 'graced' with Jyp's presence). 

A legend in his own mind, just ask him, he'll happily tell you. 

Introducing the Wretched Mister Whozits

Have tent, will travel.... to poach wireless signals. Mister Whozits has always dreamed of becoming the most evol mastermind that ever surfed the cyberwebz. Having little to do as he resides with 'friends', he poaches wireless signals so he can create endless Internet loons toons for the purpose of realizing his dream.

If you haven't gotten a PM from Whozits, you haven't been around long enough. Eventually exhausting his list of potential allies, Whozits will commence with the standard griefer-kit playbook.... his has been out of date since the late 90s'. Typical modes of operation include replying to himself in the form of alts, stroking the buttons while cackling wildly, and contacting everyone with the same cut and paste rhetoric. In between moving his 'base of operations' and creating new personas, Mister Whozits has little time for any real life, and is content to wander the Internets imagining himself as the Cyber version of Jesse James or Billy the Kid.

The coming of Zero Burn.....

Overheard on vent.....

Zero Burn: Now that we have sweet hacker handles, we can register at IoMP. Once we get online, we'll know who all of the information on who's who.

Acid Reflux: Rub my nipples! Wait, wut? 

Zero Burn: They know who they are, and now I need to know who they are. Buffy, Nipply, LaTigra, Tits McGee, and Cunt McMoldyvag are all the SAME BITCH! Then I can get back at her for being mean to me in private. That stupid whore is going down!

Acid Reflux: How we gonna do that boss?

Zero Burn: I bought this Alt Detektur from some drunk idiot at a truck stop. I don't think he knew what he even had. But now it's mine, and we're going to crush those evil whores!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Larry haz a plan.....

Private Message Exchange....

BigDawg: You didn't take the IP Tracer out of the server room did you?

Larry: Maybe. It's useless anyhow. 

 BigDawg: What did you do with it?

Larry: I sold  the alt detector to IoMP. 

BigDawg: What? We don't have an alt detector.

Larry: Not anymore I done sold it. IP Tracer, alt detector, it's all the same. 

BigDawg: This isn't going to end well.

Larry: (HIC)(GURGLE)(SLAM)

That Buffy is a real problem.....

Private Message Exchange.....

MAC: Buffy one-upped us again. She told everyone she was Larry, and posted details of my bot to IoMP. Now Larry is banned.

Dirty Sanchez: That super-smart she-demon! What are you going to do about it?

 MAC: I've activated the next wave, they've begun breaking down their morale. It was easy enough to sprinkle in some half-truths and get the rumor mill crunching.

Dirty Sanchez: You better hope so stupid. Or you're going to sucking sweat off my sack for the next century! You're shenanigans are beginning to bother me.

GUS Re-visist the rules.....

Posted on Isle of Misfit Posters, Curb Feelers, and Phuzzy Pheelings.....

GUS: I am scho schick of dis nonshense with that lonely bitch LilyAnne. All day long callin' mah housch and letting the motha fukin' phone ring. Brrrrring. Brrrrrrring.

When I answer it, is she happy.... fuck no. She's got PMS. Permanenant motormouf syndrum. All day long, dis bisch is makin' fun of me, dat bisch is makin' fun of me. I got buschted sendin' emailsch to dat bisch, everyone's a bisch but LilyAnne. Poundin' on dat agree button like dere's a chocolate inside if you schmash it enuff.

Now we poschted the rulesch. Wanna no wut da rulesch say? LilyAnne cannot post on the forum, ever again. And since you're such a smart motha fuka you can't schend anymore hatemails eitha. LilyAnne, cannot send Buffy emailsch, eva again.

Those are the rulesch, posted on the Internetz. So suck it bisch!

A.I. my big red ass.....

Private Message Exchange......

Dirty Sanchez: I told you to get those damn things under control! The little boy has stolen your goodies, who are running around like wild wildebeests, dry-humping everything in sight.

MAC: They were never designed to be intelligent, only to regurgitate and mimic. Dr. Scott says he doesn't know how Lester took control.

Dirty Sanchez: You said they would adapt and learn but it's running the same program they started with.

MAC: Dr. Scott and Yo-Yo disabled her remote upgrade capabilities after they caught us posting their gangbang videos on the Internet under Larry's name.

Dirty Sanchez: Just fucking fix it! Wait, gangbang videos? Can I get a link to those.....

If Scientology did it, I can do it too.....

Private Message Exchange.....

Father Lester: Dood. I'm not a real priest. I have one of those Internet minister's certificate, but I'm not sure if it's legal for marriage. It's got the RamCo seal of approval, and an official signature, so it's good.

Camisa Roja: It's perfect. I don't want legal marriage, just a spiritual bond type marriage. I'm going to file documents to be a Church, and the Trorg are out gathering enough slaves, I mean followers that we can qualify. 

Father Lester: You're wasting your time trolling IoMP for followers, they're pretty resilient to standard tactics.

Camisa Roja: Standard tactics aren't up for discussion, my fat little hacker friend. The Trorgs have been cooking up some fresh new tactics to squash those free-thinking IoMP types. 

Say how'd you wrangle out of that dragnet? You post regularly on that one community that was pulled down. 

Father Lester: My lawyer's said not to talk about it. Like Fight Club.

Camisa Roja:  O.o

Hello..... is this thing on?

Posted on Phuzzy Pheelings.....

LilyAnne: I don't see anything in the new SafeZone area. If something wrong with me stuff, or is it broken.

Frodo: It's working, it's just empty. 

LilyAnne: Sigh. So I have to troll through the porn and filth to read the goings on. No one could choke back the porn long enough to post in here where I can view at work?

Kinetik: That should tell you something. 

LilyAnne: Stick a sock in it. Shouldn't you be in the Matrix wearing your sunglasses at night?

Kinetik: Says the lady in the hamster robe. 

LilyAnne: It's puppies ass! Well, fake puppies, it's a costume you moron. OH fuck off. 

Kinetik: kinetik++;

Everything here is safe for work.....

Posted on Phuzzy Pheelings.....

DeBon: Ok. So in an effort to squelch the noise, I have created the SafeZone sub-forum where all stuff posted must be safe for general audiences. So keep it G/PG.

Kinetik: Are you sure? Have you Googled with the 'moderate' filter on, it's not so moderate. 

DeBon: Well maybe G? It's rough because everyone has different levels of taste.

Kinetik: And LilyAnne has none. AHAHAHA. 

Frodo: You're awesome DeBon. Someone still needs to give Kenetik a solid ramming though.

LilyAnne: AGREED! AGREED! AGREED!

True Blood yummysausages!

Posted on Curb Feelers.....

LilyAnne: Gawd I love that Eric, he's so hot. Did you see the shirtless promo on the website? Total man-candy.

Kinetik: So, half a sideboob is off-limits at work but you can post pictures of half-naked, drenched, aneorexic underwear models/actors and that's all ok?

LilyAnne: Stop trolling me it's not the same. Shouldn't you be getting rammed yet?

Kinetik: It would seem you're the only one who thinks so.

Frodo: If people want to surf at work instead of working, that's their business. The whole world isn't about boobs ya know.

LilyAnne: AGREED! AGREED! AGREED! AGREED!