Introducing Oscar Oldbie: Curb Feelers Antique.....

Oscar Oldbie: Curb Feelers Antique....

Oscar has been here since before the Internet was two paper cups and a length of string. BBS systems, email lists, usenet sites, you name it, he's been there... done that. He has little tolerance for those kids on his lawn, and even less for loud mouthed hippie liberals with no respect for their elders.

You've got to pull some time to get in with Oscar because he's not one for taking up the cause of the flyby-nights. The good ole' boys club rules are in effect as far as Oscar's concerned, you do the time, who cares about your crimes. Now get the fuck off his lawn!

Gus posts the rules.....

Posted on Isle of Misfit Posters.....

GUS: You can't have discussion without rules (HIC). So I made a list, and posted it on the fridge (HIC).

Rule #1 LilyAnne, cannot post as Skeksis any more

Rule #2 LilyAnne, cannot have an agree button

Since you're such a smart mother fucker, you can't have an agree button either.

If you want to post you better hit the reply button and type your mother fucking ass off.

If I come back here, and find an agree button, I'll kick someone's mother fuckin' ass. (HIC)(THUMP)..sdf lskdjfnlksz.,fjk n.zjhvl;ks;ml' lzxknhjv;lk.jxz./no8u[09;

Introducing Gus: Isle of Misfit Posters resident Legal Lush

Gus: Isle of Misfit Posters resident Legal Lush

Gus is a manager at the local Ching-Chingers, a hot spot for spoiled teenage kids with mommy's credit card and a pension for nudity. Working at Ching-Chingers wasn't Gus's lifetime goal, but he failed to pass his bar exam and was barred from retaking it after paying a guy to forge his test results, and then posting about it on his tweek-her page.

Now he spends his time trolling the Isle of Misfit Posters, giving out questionable legal advice at best, and stuff that could get you incarcerated, at worst. Gus's constant cologne of booze and cig smoke make him a real chick magnet, which is why he spends his time posting instead of working or actually having a life.

I forgot the safeword.....

Overheard on vent earlier.....

Caged Man: Hello.... can anyone hear me? Puulease help. I forgot the safeword and they won't let me out of here... someone help me.

(CLICK)

(Static)

So, who's moderating this stuff?

Poster with Isle of Misfit Posters.....

Peace: So who's in charge of moderating this place? How am I supposed to manipulate the rules and bend things to my advantage if I have no idea who's running the place, to extort or coerce them in some way?

Forken: The Isle of Misfit Posters currently has only automated scripts and programs handling the technical backend of the system. The posters here currently moderate themselves, choosing to handle things like adults rather than messaging friends in the other channels to come rescue them when they've gotten in over their head.

Peace: But that's how it works isn't it? You start some shit and then bring your friends in to kick sand in the face of the people your fighting with?

Forken: I doubt you'll see much progress with that sort of behavior here. But you're welcome to exercise your freedom to act like that, surely.

Skeksis: NO ONE IS READING THIS PLACE! You're all just whining and moaning for no reason. Why don't you stop dumping in everyone's living rooms and just STFU! No one's even over here except the assholes who want to play the victim card. Stupid victim card playing, anonymous moderation havin', no Keystone loving bastards! DIE IN A BUS FIRE!

There's not even enough BUTTONS! How the hell are people supposed to troll other people with no buttons. Open dialog is for losers!

This just in,Curb Feelers seen on IOMP.....

Posted on the Isle of Misfit Posters.....

LaTigra: Hey. I thought I'd come check this place out since there's such a commotion about it, and the bullshit is getting thick where I come from. I couldn't tell who's running the place, but I don't figure that's important. Looking forward to hanging out.

Forken: Welcome LaTigra. Glad to have you over here. I'm not sure where you're from but here we tend to self moderate and the trolls usually tire and wander off when their tactics fall well below the fail mark.

Peace: Uh, I guess this is where all the 'cool kids' are hanging out? I wonder how long this little revengefest will last? I'm sure once all of you crazy cooks stop patting each other on the back for wrecking our board with your onslaught of facts and your exposure of our lame griefer tactics you'll start kicking each other in the balls and you'll come crying back to Curb Feelers.

Forken: Well Peace you're welcome to hang out here all you want. I doubt many people here will be frequenting Curb Feelers much anymore since the hacker is in charge and everyone is complacent. But hey, whatever rubs your naughty bits right?

Major Humvee: What in the Sam hell are you talking about Peace? No one cares about a gaggle of giggle monkeys rubbin' each others peckers. People go where the conversation is, not where the cover charge is sucking off the owner.

Even I can only stand so much constant assbuggery. With Larry drinking a Keystone truck a week, it's looking like a napalm storm over there.

Now the retarded child of David Koresh and Captain Fruitcake are running shit over there while Larry goes to detox, because let's face it, no one's letting that guy drive.

Sometimes you just want to hang out and talk to your friends while you sharpen your knives, or clean your pistol. You know what I'm sayin.

Earthboi has a plan.....

Posted on Curb Feelers.....

Earthboi Onus: So glad Lester is running things for now. With Dr. Scott missing in action, and things being so tense lately, I think we need some new rules to help lock things down. So I suggest we start cornholing everyone after their first post, and make them explain why we should let them out? If they don't like it, ban them, who needs their shit anyway?

Duhsure: That's an intriguing concept. We can eliminate tormenting them for weeks on end, having them meltdown and then banning them, and just cut right to it. However, then we won't have any noobs to haze. We'll have to start hazing each other.

Perish: You know the Nazi's had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear.

LilyAnne: Did you guys not read that part where they were calling us retarded? I didn't read it either. Such bastards.

Vanilla: I know. I mean, the nerve. I'm so much smarter than all of those people. I can't be troubled to even concern myself with it. My friend's, cousin's, sister's brother's acquaintance used to hottub with Lars Ulrich so we're gonna go to a classy coke party tonight.

Insane Slut: I can remember back to the days when I used to hottub. Things have changed alot since the 20's though, you can't have more than 3 or 4 boyfriends without being called a slut. Ahh you kids have it easy.

BMB: What the fuck is wrong with ya'll? Man this shit is whack.

Sheriff Antman: I don't think anybody wants to hear from you 'Big Money' B. If you have so much money, buy a shirt and get some pant that fit.

Don't you have an Usher concert to get to? By the way, I know it was you that sent those nude cowboy pictures to my email.

Can I get the link to that site? PM me, thanks.

LilyAnne wants attention.....

Posted on Curb Feelers.....

LilyAnne: But someone made drawrings of us! Doesn't anyone care?!? They weren't even good drawrings. They sucked even though the description and title indicate clearly that the badly drawn appearance helps emphasize the ridiculousness and the white trashiness of our behavior!

Who the hell do they think they are? Making fun of stuff that's stupid and shameful is wrong! Pointing out pee-poles flaws and drawring attention to the fact that they can't bring themselves to play nice with other grown-ups is just fucked up!

Let people alone to rant and rage and stomp all over people. That's the 'Merican way. We have the right to abuse people and lie every second of our lives... it's what we do. It doesn't involve reading your lame ass drawrings, including the one where you told me what a fat cow I was, clearly I didn't read that one either.

Hide behind your anonymity you stupid fuckers. All of us are over here keeping it real!

Curb Feelers takes offense.....

Posted to Curb Feelers.....

Major Humvee: Lester, you pompus pig's ass. You and that militant lawn gnome can go suck on a gas can. Give you my ID? What the fuck for? So you can show up at my house and get your silly ass beat? Why don't you go back to your altar boys and leave people the fuck alone? And STOP posting those damn pictures!!!!!

Joepin: Wait man, I need to send in my ID. That's not cool man. I think I"m totally gonna bug out back to the Isle where people just be there for the sake of being there. Why does everyone have to stick their nose in everyone's business man? Just chill out. Just chill way out.

LilyAnne: I think it's a great idea. Then we'll know who's ass to kick when they step over the line. Maybe we can post the assholes on Curb Feelers?

AGREE AGREE AGREE AGREE

AGREE AGREE AGREE

Pope Lester: No one said we were going to check IDs. Everyone just calm down. We're monitoring Curb Feelers doing 'background checks' on people we think are 'suspicious'.

That's all. To keep out the terrorists who assaulted our community with truth and facts, shattering the illusion we spent so many months creating.

Duhsure: Makes perfect sense. Considering the lack of proof, the absence of their presence here and the ongoing refusal to come here and let us toy with them regardless of our attempts to prod them with lame insults and half-retarded alts... I think they're going to start shit anytime. Let's get those walls up and grab the pitchforks.

Pope Lester the First...

Posted on Curb Feelers....

Pope Lester: Now that Larry has entrusted me with the community, I have created this admin account to overlord, I mean separate myself from my usual posting persona.

As my first holy act, I am promoting Antman to moderator status, in an effort to clean up this place. So I suggest the rumors about me stop, or else you'll be on your knees, begging for forgiveness if you catch what I'm sayin.

Some of you should PM me about confessional, and repent your sins. I'll be digging through the other PMs at my leisure, but don't worry about that, I'm a man of the cloth, and people like me.

Sheriff Antman: Wouldn't be a bad idea to start weedin' out the undesirables around deez here parts. I think we'll lock down some more threads and force ID when you register. How'd that be? Then we know where to go when it's time to deliver the bat.

All those hoodlums on that other place better just stay over there with the rest of the losers, or it's frame-ups and hackjobs for the lotta ya.

Now let's talk more about the right to gay pr0n. There's clearly not enough of it at Curb Feelers.

Larry hits the road (thank god).....

Posted on Curb Feelers.....

Larry: So I finally talked someone into letting me drive their truck (more money for Keystone yeehaw)! I'm off to grab a big bottle-o-meth from the corner and then I'm slappin' the pavement for the a bit.

Lester's in charge, since some of ya'll think Dr. Scott is biased and shit, you can't argue with the priest right? Whatever Lester says goes, until I get back. He can cornhole the shit out of you if you don't watch yer shit.

Vanilla: Aww Larry be safe sweetie. Be careful driving, don't fall asleep at the wheel. I'll get on me knees and say something to the invisble skyman for you, take your laptop and let us know you're ok now and then. We'll be here when you get back. HUGS

Insane Slut: That's nice Larry. So I was in the store today and this guy was checking me out, talking about how hot I was. He said I was awesome and wanted my number but I laughed in his face because he was so beneath me.

Perish: I read somewhere that taking meth is good for the skin.

An apology from Larry (again).....

Posted on Curb Feelers.....

Larry: I just wanted to come out here and publicly say that I am sorry for being such a drunken douchebag over the last few days. I've been pounding back twelvers of Keystone like it's going off sale, the place is going all to hell. Everyone is fightin' and brawlin', and there's a group of hatemongers trying to make us out to look like the buttsniffers we are.

We're too stupid to put it together, too pigheaded to ask for help, and too stubborn to admit when we acted like a big group of ignorant sheep shaggers when we should have just been grown-ups. I know that someday this will all sink in and I'll realize what a stupid redneck monkey boner I've been, but until that happens, bottoms up right? (BURP)(HIC)

A conversation with Forken.....

Posted on Isle of Misfit Posters.....

Joepin: So, Forken man, what's that lame ass talking about man? Do we have all of that fancy stuff over here to keep out the boners man? Did you see that guy over here talking shit. Wow he's really pissed off man. He should just toke one and mellow out.

Camisa Roja: Can't we just put up some kind of protective shield or something to keep out those puto pendejos? I can't believe with all of the technology we have that it's not possible to thwart the enemy.

And Larry, dear child, take a breathe man and lay off the booze, honestly. Obvio troll es obvio.

Forken: Yeah Joepin don't sweat it. Unlike some other places, we didn't use the most exploit ridden, totally useless, outdated, insecure pile of shit software we could find out of the bargain bin at Transmitter Hut..... we built this from the ground up, with solid tech and security in mind.

Most of the administration is handled by automatic scripts and programs that have little or no human interaction, and moderators/admins do not have full access to databases, because that's just stupid right?

And we don't have the site built for Internet Exploder, because anyone using Internet Exploder at this point should just take their computer outside in the rain and drown themselves, because they're fucking up the Internet for everyone with a brain.

How did they know it was us?

Private Conversation between LilyAnne, Larry.....

LilyAnne: Great they know who we are! How the hell did they figure that out Larry? You said that MegaRedNeckProxy stuff would hide us.

Larry: Well yeah it does sorta. You can't really say the same shit over there that you say over here dumbass. People can put that shit together. You're just supposed to watch, not yammer on like a chi-hua-hua dog.

LilyAnne: I didn't see you keeping your fingers to yourself you ass. I came in with this brilliant scheme to post in stealth and stir the pot and you start by agreeing with everything I say. Have another twelve pack and sit on a bowling pin. Fucker.

Introducing Major Humvee: Curb Feelers Psychotic Footsoldier

Major Humvee: Curb Feelers Psychotic Footsoldier

First man in, last man out. Don't get too close to this wannabe soldier, of he'll rip your virtual head off and gut you like a fish. Off his rocker a bit from one too many blows to the head during his repeated panties raids at Larry's Mom's house, he's barely hanging onto what's left of his reality.

A major pain in the ass, Humvee has little patience, little concern, and nothing but hurtlocker for those commie bastards that kept him outta the original Curb Feelers community, Cornhole Jockeys. Don't interrupt him in a posting frenzy, or you might get skullfucked.

Introducing Camisa Roja: Isle of Misfit Posters resident sci-fi expert

Camisa Roja: Isle of Misfit Posters resident Sci-Fi Expert

Expert on all things science fiction, Camisa is the first one to be chucked into the shredder when the blows begin to fly. Usually, when he senses this coming (which isn't very often), he will attempt a mad flurry of raging destruction before committing seppuku with his phaser. When the heat is on, it's shields up, photons locked, phasers on kill and every man for himself.

"Second star to the left, and straight on till morning." - James Tiberius Kirk (Star Trek VI)

Introducing Joepin: Isle of Misfit Posters Herbal Ehtusiast

Joepin: Isle of Misfit Posters Herbal Enthusiast

Herbal Enthusiast, philosophizer, all around mellow dude. Joepin tries to be the voice of wisdom, but usually wanders off when the combat gets too heavy, because it tweaks his mellow. He'll step in to point in the direction of wisdom, and cease to bother when it's clear no one cares.

"I think pot should be legal. I don’t smoke it, but I like the smell of it." - Andy Warhol

Skeksis opens a dialog on IOMP.....

Posted on Isle of Misfit Posters.....

Introducing newly registered user..... Skeksis....

Skeksis: First, I am most obviously an alt from one of the asshats on the Curb Feelers forum. I'm here to tell you how lame you all are for posting over here about things that are true and correct, but make us look very, very bad.

Wow you guys are so petty and retarded. I wanted to come over here, not to read this drivel, but to congradulate you on your lame jealousy. I'm sure you will get by great. You must realize that no one is reading this crap. Those 1000+ pageviews are made up. Probably made em up yourself. I'm not the least bit heated over your lame little cartoons and your stupid insults.

And stop reading our forum and then using the stuff we post as fodder for your stupid cartoons and post rants. Just because we make it glaringly obvious by our post history that we are all a mere step away from cavemen, you can't post that shit elsewhere. It's not fair.

BTW... your drawings suck.

Forken pokes a hole.....

Posted on Curb Feelers.....

Forken: I hate to be the one to point out some obvious inconsistencies, but when digging up the info on your IP Tracer, v0.1 you said it was, I found this bit of information...

"IP Tracer v0.1 is for entertainment purposes only. This will not track and record ACTUAL IP address, instead merely flashing and beeping to give the illusion of safety. Do not use in situations

where security is a must. (c) PhukMe Toys."

So what gives? Are you guys just making up that 'evidence' you have? At this point you guys are badgering the living shit out of people based on non-existent evidence and some hate fuel rantings from a batch of old grumpy people. I think you would be wise to reexamine your information, and start being more open with your community. Just a suggestion.

Dr. Scott: Weel nae body speart ye did they? Sae wa dornt ye buck aff?

Earthboi Onus: Can't we all just relax. I don't think anyone is trying to offend anyone. Just because those IOMP assholes are over here trying to address the rampant, raging storm of shit we're posting on their forum, even in the absence of them doing it here, is no reason to go off the deep end.

LilyAnne: TOTALLY EARTHBOI! AGREE AGREE AGREE AGREE Their posts are all dripping with condensation and putrid insults. Man if Vanilla and I got together we'd be a force to be reckoned with. Now I have to go to an inbreeding ceremony. I'll be back later.

Insane Slut: This is all a waste of time. We should be talking about me and how awesome I am. You can ask all of my friends and family, I'm the shit. Fuck those other cunts. Who cares?

LilyAnne: AGREE AGREE AGREE AGREE I'm really going now. Not going to read this slanderous slime any longer.

YoYo: Wut? (HIC)(GURGLE) I dishn't hear wash shoe gais wer shayin. Aww phuk it. (SLAM)