Congrats Mr. President on your re-election!

Need more power.

Posted on Phuzzy Pheelings.....

MAC: Damnit I should have bought the extended battery. I won't be able to post about my magnificence for hours.

LaTigra: You should get 'Power Battery Saver', it totally makes your iWidget last longer. 

MAC: You know I  ---ZAP---

LaTigra: Guess his battery died. 

MAC calls the thunder.

Applesauce: Hello this is Applesauce support how can I help you?

MAC: You banned my Absolute POWAH!

Applesauce: I'm sorry sir that app has been removed from our inventory. 

MAC: Yes I am aware but I must have Absolute POWAH!

Applesauce: I'm sorry sir that app has been removed from our inventory would you be interested in "Power Battery Saver"? It's a new app that helps you with...

MAC: NO I don't want "Power Battery Saver" you incompetent fool!

-= CLICK =-

MAC: INFIDEL!

Introducing Squall: Forecast predicts drama

Squall is a failed weatherman turned Internet sleuth. Priding himself on his investigatory journalism type skills comparing him to Barney Fife would be an insult to Barney. Champion of an Internet community long since failed he trolls from board to board attempting to goad people into drawn out engagements surrounding the failure he still considers a gem lost in the shitheap of the Internet. 

Take anything Squall says with a grain of salt, otherwise you'll be left with a mostly tasteless plateful of garbage a homeless person wouldn't touch in lieu of starvation. 

Jailbait to the rescue.

Posted on Phuzzy Pheelings.....

MAC: Hear me now lowly posters, anyone questioning my absolute powah shall be smote down by the soul of Steve himself!

Posted from my iPurse 2

(suck that iPurse 1 biotches!)

LaTigra: Look at that, bad news for you. 

"Applesauce  pulls Absolute Powah app from it's webstore, sources say Applesauce will issue a formal apology this evening."

MAC: Time to break out the Jailbait. Once there's Jailbait in my iPurse  I can make it work. Enjoy your minor victory mutant. 

Posted from my iPurse 2

(suck that iPurse 1 biotches!)

Stick that in your iPipe and smoke it.

MAC: FINALLY it has arrived. All of those recycled aluminum cans and that lucky break testing drugs afforded me the capitol to order the POWAH!!!!!!!!!!

Antman: What are you going on about did you get that new pube trimmer you ordered ?

MAC: No fool. Now that my iPurse 2 has finally arrived, I can squelch the voices of reason and inundate the world with my superior intellect.

Antman: There's an app for that? 

Oblivia needs an assist.

Posted on Curb Feelers.....

Current Viewers 200 (Members 119, Guests 81)

Oblivia: Does anyone have a good method for getting grease out of your buttcrack?

Current Viewers 2 (Members 1, Guests 1)

Hickey: I can drop over and help you with your lube issue. 

Oblivia: Bring your trunks we can get in the spa.

There's not enough light.....

"MAC's mother had her Internet suspended for illegal activity, so MAC decided to shack up with DeBon, where he establishes his new laboratory. - Ed"

DeBon: It's so cool that you live here now. We can hang-out and watch movies and stuff.

MAC: What are we, girlfriends? Help me with my helmet I need to test it out. 

DeBon: What does it do?

MAC: It's a Solar-powered Enhanced Virtual Sex-emator. But I can't get it to power up. 

DeBon: Maybe it would work better outside where there's more light?

MAC: You think?

Meanwhile.....

When last we left our cast of miscreants.....

Dr. Whozits had allied with Lester in an attempt to get closer to the identities of their arch-enemy, while the LUJ has been exposed for the creeps that they are. While no one has seen Oblivia in quite some time, it's been rumored she might have made an attempt to ally herself with the LUJ but was tossed into their SPAM file and MAC churns away in his basement lair, plotting his revenge against the world. 

MAC: Luckily, it's been fairly quiet around here while everyone else goes on with their actual lives. I've had plenty of time to regain control of my minions. With the clearing of the trash from PP so there's no opposition to my ignorant rants, and I can continue my virtual e-peen domination.

DeBon: You mean my board is now free of drama and things can get back to normal. 

MAC: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hey did you get those new pictures I took of my man bits? Looks bigger when you shave it right?

DeBon: Mine didn't. 

Celebrate gotVirtual's First Anniversary with a sweet partay!

gotVirtual is turning one this November, and they're holding a huge weekend long bash to celebrate the birthing of the most diverse, unique, and completely refreshing place to socialize on the Internet.

Drop by and check it out for more information. If you're not in Second Life, then what are you waiting for? Make an account, grab some gear, and get your party on!

Introducing HaeTo Codger: Get off the lawn!!!!

HaeTo is about as average as it gets. If you've ever stared at a plain sheet of white paper, you've experienced HaeTo in all their glory. HaeTo could talk a methhead into a deep sleep.

In an effort to combat HaeTo's average, boring, unimaginative self..... HaeTo borrowed a play from Mr. Whozits, and started hammering out alt after alt.

Problem is, HaeTo can't remember which meds HaeTo took last. Sometimes facts go missing in HaeTo's reality juggling (HaeTo's reality, your reality, our reality, whatever right?).

Most of what HaeTo says breaks down to 'you youngins get off mah lawn!'. The problem is, HaeTo is rarely standing on HaeTo's own lawn.

And get a costume.....

Antman: This is a private channel miss, if you're not middle class and white we're going to have you arrested.

Demented Distortia: I want to join your group, so I can seek revenge on those who've harmed me. 

Antman: We don't seek revenge miss, we bring justice to the Interwebz.

DD: Whatever we're calling it I want to play too. 

Antman: You'll need to get a costume to better shield your identity.

DD: What do you mean? 

Someone back-doored Antman, and the LUJ is exposed!

Antman: All you've done is forward injustice today, son.

WMW: Whatever, and Lester's really a stalker too, right?

Antman: Unauthorized access to the League of Uniformed Jagwackers supercomputer database, CARDIAC, is grounds for arrest, son. You outsiders have got to learn!

WMW: But, you gave Lester the passwords and an account? I didn't hack it. 

Antman: You used your next generation hacker software to violate the security of the Jagwackers fortress!

 WMW: Next generation software? Well that wasn't me I use BS Flinger 3 OS, it's not compatible with anything. 

Lester allies with the Wretched Mister Whozits

WMW: Listen, I can probably get down there in a few days. I'll use my super mad BSD connections to couch hop to your place. My tent has a hole in it though.

Lester: It's cool you can crash on the couch. Till the guys come to take it on Friday. Rent-a-Debit is pissed I'm six weeks behind, and they're taking all my shit. 

WMW: Just don't open the door. They can't break it down.

Lester: My Mom will just let them in when I'm gone. 

WMW: I'll bring a sleeping bag. 

(Un-) Welcome to BootyBurger

Spitz: Welcome to BootyBurger, can I take your order?

Lester: (BUMP).......(BOOOOOM)......(BUMP)......(BA-BOOOOOOOOM)......

Spitz: Hello?

Lester: Give me a BootyBuster special (BA-BOOOOOOM), and a (BUMP) large (BA-BOOOOOOOOM)

Spitz: Lester, you can't be here man, they'll call the cops.

Lester: No way man, I'm not (BA-BOOOOOOOM), (TICK-TICK) just fired. (BUMP - BOOOOOOOOM) 

Police Officer: Excuse me sir could you pull over and step out of the vehicle.

Introducing Oblivia, wannabe Scene Queen

You'd think a middle aged housewife would have something to do with her time besides aspire to be one of the biggest gossip whores on the planet, but you'd be applying common sense and the Interwebz cannot sustain much of that.

On the outset, you might wonder why Oblivia hits the bowtox a bit hard, but in reality, she suffers from a rare disorder in which the bubble of air in side her skull is slowly expanding as she ages, poking out little blurbs and bubbles which deform her forehead and facial features.

Sadly, someday she will pop and those around her will be horribly traumatized. Until then, her bimbastic way of missing the point and cleverly burning you with insults that have no relevance to the subject at hand will be with us, as she aspires to take the Scene Queen of the Interwebz crown.

Introducing Otiose Organizer

Ousted from his former position as Casino director, Otiose was fired from his virtual playground when it was discovered that his intentions were to enslave children into a life of servitude through the perils of gambling.

Hellbent on seeking revenge, he kidnaps members of his former virtual society and forces them to put their mouths on the nether regions of his newly created mob of Thug Zombies*. Forcing them to join his cause or be cast into the dungeon, forced to endure reading countless thousands of his 'informational' Interwebz posts.

The best course of action when you see Otiose coming, is to trip him as you push him out the exit.



* Bio on Thug Zombies forthcoming - ed

Introducing Jyp from Sckanchoes

When taken in small doses, Jyp's witty repertoire seems refreshing and new. After extended bouts of nauseating walls of self-serving diatribe, however, it becomes clear that Jyp's ideas are rarely his own, and piecing together segments from the intellect of others bolsters his self-confidence. 

Working from inside the local Sckanchoes (skank-ohs) copyshop, Jyp spends his time pouring over the work of others and cross-posting their ideas to the Interwebz to garner popularity and 'cool-kid' points with the other whack-a-loons.  

After exhausting his usual battery of bullshit, he can be found wandering the wasteland of the Interwebz (usually barred from whatever community was unfortunate enough to be 'graced' with Jyp's presence). 

A legend in his own mind, just ask him, he'll happily tell you. 

Introducing the Wretched Mister Whozits

Have tent, will travel.... to poach wireless signals. Mister Whozits has always dreamed of becoming the most evol mastermind that ever surfed the cyberwebz. Having little to do as he resides with 'friends', he poaches wireless signals so he can create endless Internet loons toons for the purpose of realizing his dream.

If you haven't gotten a PM from Whozits, you haven't been around long enough. Eventually exhausting his list of potential allies, Whozits will commence with the standard griefer-kit playbook.... his has been out of date since the late 90s'. Typical modes of operation include replying to himself in the form of alts, stroking the buttons while cackling wildly, and contacting everyone with the same cut and paste rhetoric. In between moving his 'base of operations' and creating new personas, Mister Whozits has little time for any real life, and is content to wander the Internets imagining himself as the Cyber version of Jesse James or Billy the Kid.

The coming of Zero Burn.....

Overheard on vent.....

Zero Burn: Now that we have sweet hacker handles, we can register at IoMP. Once we get online, we'll know who all of the information on who's who.

Acid Reflux: Rub my nipples! Wait, wut? 

Zero Burn: They know who they are, and now I need to know who they are. Buffy, Nipply, LaTigra, Tits McGee, and Cunt McMoldyvag are all the SAME BITCH! Then I can get back at her for being mean to me in private. That stupid whore is going down!

Acid Reflux: How we gonna do that boss?

Zero Burn: I bought this Alt Detektur from some drunk idiot at a truck stop. I don't think he knew what he even had. But now it's mine, and we're going to crush those evil whores!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!