Oscar Oldbie: Curb Feelers Antique....
Oscar has been here since before the Internet was two paper cups and a length of string. BBS systems, email lists, usenet sites, you name it, he's been there... done that. He has little tolerance for those kids on his lawn, and even less for loud mouthed hippie liberals with no respect for their elders.
You've got to pull some time to get in with Oscar because he's not one for taking up the cause of the flyby-nights. The good ole' boys club rules are in effect as far as Oscar's concerned, you do the time, who cares about your crimes. Now get the fuck off his lawn!