I'll make you Gargle it.....

Private message exchange....

Yo-Yo: Did you tell me to Gargle this? You're being a total fuckwit lately. I've been doing all of the alt work on my own, you didn't even help me with those pictures, and now someone found out they're not real. Fucker!

Dr. Scott: Yoo're damn reit Ah tauld ye tae gargle it. Aam boak ay bein' yer wee huir. Ye awreddy hae me neck deep in th' lester jobby. He fucked us aw ower an' ye gart me back heem e'en thocht Ah didne want tae.

Yo-Yo: That's right. Lester deserves our support we can't let him fry for this just because he's stupid. He didn't mean to get caught. It was an accident. If he hadn't gotten caught he'd still be trying to hack the board, the people, and this wouldn't be an issue.

Dr. Scott: He's nae supposed tae be hackin' th' board an' other fowk ye numbskulled twitterpated packmule. Wa dae ye gie anither facelift an' hae yer boobs dain afair yer nipples catch fire frae th' friction.

Chirp..... chirp.... chirp.... chirp.....

Private messaging exchange.....

DeBon: Man this place has been totally dead. Not as bad as Feelers, but we're not cornholing our users on a regular basis. Maybe I should start getting shitfaced and taking Quaaludes and then spending 24 hours cursing and jumping up and down like a 2 year old who didn't get more candy.

MAC: That won't work people are sick of that shit. I'll just post up more picture of that guy's cock I have been passing off as my own, and people will come in droves.

DeBon: We need to get that Dirty Sanchez guy over here or something and get some real drama going. Have you finished the bears for the Tomb challenge coming up?

MAC: Sort of. I have the first two done but I can't get the lube dispenser to work on the one, and I am waiting for more aquanet cans to finish The Flamer.

DeBon: Tight. That's gonna be the mega-super-bomb.

MAC: Whatever. Just remember to come over here later and thank me the usual way.

They have better buttons..... and awards!!!!!!!

Posted on Curb Feelers....

LilyAnne: What's up with this shit. I don't have a LIKE button over here. Check this out....

"Forken has 2,345 Likes"

"Buffy has 2,234 Likes and 1,456 Awards"

We don't have AWARDs EITHER! WTF. This is total BULLSHIT. They leave our forum and go make a better one and I can't even post over there without using my alt because I'm too big of a fucking whiner. Damnit!

Yo-Yo: Scott you didn't tell me about that aluminum I-find stuff. Now they know that picture I posted was Gargled.

Dr. Scott: Ahh whatever ye insane auld bat yoo're pissin' me aff noo. Gargle thes.

Insane Slut: Waaay off track here. There's no mention of me anywhere on that other place, I really want to talk about that. I think I deserve an entire thread about me alone. This needs to be rectified.

Dr. Scott: Gang rectifiy thes ye batshit a bampot loon. Wa dorn't ya ride aff a cliee oan a Llama wi' 'at other a bampot fanny.

Can't you just let it drop?

Posted on Curb Feelers.....

Yo-Yo: I don't understand why there's still bullshit about this. We're over it, why can't you little whores get over it? It's not like we spend all day, making lame ass alts, crawling over your community and posting ridiculous crap about lame conspiracies, frothing at the mouth when your members draw cartoons laughing at how totally fucking stupid a handful of 'human beings' can get.

Let it drop already. Everyone is totally aware that Curb Feelers is full of half-witted, angry little drunkiemuffins with nothing better to do than sit around growing more wrinkles and lowering the intelligence quotient of the Internet as a whole.

LilyAnne: AGREED AGREED AGREED

Caged Gimp: Hello? Safeword? Anyone?

The B.A.T. is in the house.....

To help mitigate issues with the building Butthurt, we have created the Butthurt Action Team, or B.A.T. for short.

B.A.T. is on tap to respond during instances of elevated or stronger concentrations of Butthurt. Only the

best Butthurt can become part of the B.A.T. Many Butthurt have tried, and failed.

It's settled, we totally suck ass.....

As Larry works feverishly with his new gadget....

Posted on Curb Feelers.....

Spitz: HAHA you're bored sucks so much you all die in fire screaming.

Forken: What do you expect from a board run by drunks, idiots and wannabe hacker types. Even the stupidest of posters will eventually figure it out, sooner or later this place will be a wasteland, probably sooner.

Larry: I'm rather proud of myself, in the last few weeks I've driven every decent poster from the board with my shithead antics. Lester hacking the board was just the icing on the cake, and of course it helped that no one listened to facts because they hate that bitch and wanna suck on my tallywhacker. (HIC)(BURP)

Dirty Sanchez: You better be careful patting yourself on the back silly, you might break your arm and then you'll have nothing to flog it with, sweet-pants-of-yummy.

Pope Lester: WTF. I DIDN'T hack the board Larry you stupid drunken redneck puke.

Dr. Scott: Ahh shutup Lester it's auld. A' fowk knows ye did it sae piss aff.

LilyAnne: AGREED AGREED AGREED AGREED

Insane Slut: I can't believe anyone would go post on that crybaby board. Those fucking useless bastards should have stayed here like adults and taken all of the wanton abuse, lies, and stupidity which continues.

That's what it's always been about, why wake up now and leave? Besides, I am still here and that's the only reason to post her anyway, to bask in the glory that is me.

LilyAnne: AGREED AGREED AGREED AGREED

Yo-Yo: I'm glad all of those posters defected to that other place. Now it's nice and quiet here so I don't have to spend all day reading so much crap. Reading makes my head hurt, 'specially when there's big words and stuff. (HIC)(GURGLE)(HIC)

BMB: Larry the only way to save this place dog is for you to cap yo'self and give this bitch to someone who won't rape it into the ground. Even then dog, I think you pissed in to many cereal bowls to get anyone decent back. I'm the fuck up outta here mostly anyhow, just droppin by to tell you what a whack bitch you are. Peace.,

Heap-bay has the best shit.....

Larry: Hmm. This looks like it'll do the job. I'll get two just in case.

Introducing Professor Boriarty: Phuzzy Pheelings regular.....

Professor Boriarty loves to spend large amounts of time talking about things that, while they might be important in the grand scheme of wonderfulness, truly impact the here and now very little. His primary tactic is to talk in long winded spurts, pausing for undetermined periods of time while his opponents wait anxiously to Gargle the next big wall of information in hopes of formulating a rebuttal.

But you can't rebutt nonsense, can you? Bring your PJs, the Prof makes it a long night.