(Un-) Welcome to BootyBurger

Spitz: Welcome to BootyBurger, can I take your order?

Lester: (BUMP).......(BOOOOOM)......(BUMP)......(BA-BOOOOOOOOM)......

Spitz: Hello?

Lester: Give me a BootyBuster special (BA-BOOOOOOM), and a (BUMP) large (BA-BOOOOOOOOM)

Spitz: Lester, you can't be here man, they'll call the cops.

Lester: No way man, I'm not (BA-BOOOOOOOM), (TICK-TICK) just fired. (BUMP - BOOOOOOOOM) 

Police Officer: Excuse me sir could you pull over and step out of the vehicle.

Introducing Oblivia, wannabe Scene Queen

You'd think a middle aged housewife would have something to do with her time besides aspire to be one of the biggest gossip whores on the planet, but you'd be applying common sense and the Interwebz cannot sustain much of that.

On the outset, you might wonder why Oblivia hits the bowtox a bit hard, but in reality, she suffers from a rare disorder in which the bubble of air in side her skull is slowly expanding as she ages, poking out little blurbs and bubbles which deform her forehead and facial features.

Sadly, someday she will pop and those around her will be horribly traumatized. Until then, her bimbastic way of missing the point and cleverly burning you with insults that have no relevance to the subject at hand will be with us, as she aspires to take the Scene Queen of the Interwebz crown.

Introducing Otiose Organizer

Ousted from his former position as Casino director, Otiose was fired from his virtual playground when it was discovered that his intentions were to enslave children into a life of servitude through the perils of gambling.

Hellbent on seeking revenge, he kidnaps members of his former virtual society and forces them to put their mouths on the nether regions of his newly created mob of Thug Zombies*. Forcing them to join his cause or be cast into the dungeon, forced to endure reading countless thousands of his 'informational' Interwebz posts.

The best course of action when you see Otiose coming, is to trip him as you push him out the exit.



* Bio on Thug Zombies forthcoming - ed

Introducing Jyp from Sckanchoes

When taken in small doses, Jyp's witty repertoire seems refreshing and new. After extended bouts of nauseating walls of self-serving diatribe, however, it becomes clear that Jyp's ideas are rarely his own, and piecing together segments from the intellect of others bolsters his self-confidence. 

Working from inside the local Sckanchoes (skank-ohs) copyshop, Jyp spends his time pouring over the work of others and cross-posting their ideas to the Interwebz to garner popularity and 'cool-kid' points with the other whack-a-loons.  

After exhausting his usual battery of bullshit, he can be found wandering the wasteland of the Interwebz (usually barred from whatever community was unfortunate enough to be 'graced' with Jyp's presence). 

A legend in his own mind, just ask him, he'll happily tell you. 

Introducing the Wretched Mister Whozits

Have tent, will travel.... to poach wireless signals. Mister Whozits has always dreamed of becoming the most evol mastermind that ever surfed the cyberwebz. Having little to do as he resides with 'friends', he poaches wireless signals so he can create endless Internet loons toons for the purpose of realizing his dream.

If you haven't gotten a PM from Whozits, you haven't been around long enough. Eventually exhausting his list of potential allies, Whozits will commence with the standard griefer-kit playbook.... his has been out of date since the late 90s'. Typical modes of operation include replying to himself in the form of alts, stroking the buttons while cackling wildly, and contacting everyone with the same cut and paste rhetoric. In between moving his 'base of operations' and creating new personas, Mister Whozits has little time for any real life, and is content to wander the Internets imagining himself as the Cyber version of Jesse James or Billy the Kid.