BigDawg the Neko:
Curb Feelers LanJanitor
Otherwise known as a LanJanitor, BigDawg spent his internship labeling cables and emptying shredder bins. Many years later he spends his time 'monitoring' the technical side of Curb Feelers. Putting band-aids on broken software, toggling random user settings and reading the PM database occupy the majority of his time.
When the fit hits the shan, it's BigDawg to the rescue with push button tools and vague, broadly suggestive resolutions to common problems.
Rest assured your data is safe with the Dawg, even though he's still looking for the anykey.